It took a long time and rather Herculean (and continuing) effort to begin to change my mind set regarding imposter syndrome. For a long time, I felt very much like a fraud because my writing wasn't as sharp or polished or practiced as others; either because I didn't read as widely as I should or because I subscribed to some rather ugly old views about my own worth and talents that I have since, through diligent work, spiritual practice and therapy, recanted.
It's never too late to change an opinion of yourself or the world, to learn and embrace better ideas, to learn a new skill or dream a new dream. I've learned that we are not frauds for taking the time we needed to get to where we are today, and to get to wherever it is we may be going. One of the precious gifts of passing time and age and growth is that we can begin to discover incredible, buried skills later in life: to become writers and dancers and comedians and creators when we previously couldn't envision these things for ourselves. It's a beautiful moment when we can truly begin to detonate those limiting beliefs and become who we are truly meant to be.
The imposter syndrome mindset says that we're imposters if we lack the formal training or "sweat equity" that some others have poured into their art. But, the truth is, we are always growing and evolving - all of us. We will always be in the process of finding our way forward. And just because you haven't been writing or dancing or woodworking as long as some other people, that doesn't mean you haven't been living your life, learning and observing and growing and reading and being. And guess what? All of those things contribute to our eventual creative acts.
This realization has been a radical life change for me because I wouldn't have been able to say these things to you in previous years and be telling the truth about it with firm conviction. I was unsure, insecure and mostly felt like a fraud whenever someone offered the beauty of praise, which feels so good and lifts my soul, but even more so when I can accept it and believe them. Sometimes, I still battle that feelings of fraudulence. Luckily, it's a rarity these days. But goodness, if you feel inspired, try your best mot to let that inner critic be the loudest voice in the room. Be inspired. It fucking feels good. If you want to write, write. If you feel like dancing, dance with your whole body and soul. Cook, run, sew, sing. Do it with dedication and love. Whatever sets your being on fire - jump in and do it! And guess what? You'll get where you need to be eventually. It might not be an easy road, but you'll get there.
Shame tells us we are imposters for rejection, or for social media disengagement, or for a myriad of other reasons that have very little to do with what we have actually created. Besides, to be creative is to be rejected at times. To exist with integrity on social media means the algorithm will usually work against us. And as much as rejection or diminished engagement can suck, it is simply not indicative of our worth, creative or otherwise. Please believe this and remind yourself of this, especially when the path feels like a lonely road.
If we are actively investing in our craft, "knowing better so we can do better," if we are accepting practice as a virtue, connecting with others not for what they can do for us but because we genuinely want to know them and share space with them, we will grow into our skillsets as a natural byproduct of living in such a manner. We will become more familiar with our chosen mediums. We will, if we can learn to silence the inner shame soundtrack and believe in that spark of beauty and passion that got us rolling in the first place, begin to trust our gifts more and more. And it seems to me, that when we truly get into this sacred space, the imposter syndrome begins to rear its head less and less. It simply doesn't have the fat to chew on without us playing a role in our own degradation.
And just to remind you one more time, my friend: You are not an Imposter for not being perfect. We're all in the process of being formed. And we'll never completely get there. There's no clear finish line. Just keep doing what sets your heart ablaze. Just "serve the work." The world needs your voice. As the Poet Laureate of Skid Row, Mr. Charles Bukowski himself once wrote: "You are marvelous. The gods wait to delight in you."
I wait to delight in your gifts and talents, too.
