Pro-Tip: Apathy is the death of Empathy. Want me to say it again?
Yes, the world (both the world-at-large and Your world) can seem overwhelming. Our personal lives may be full of stress, chaos and even, at times, in complete tatters. It may feel downright hopeless and you may be utterly exhausted from trying to fight the darkness, but losing empathy is not the way out.
Now, I'm not condoning some kind of toxic or faux positivity. I'm not advocating for a particular meditation regiment or a specific sacred chant you need to do every morning to cleanse your energy, but I do think holding onto glimmers of hope are important to keep us from tipping over the edge into full blown apathy (or even worse).
There are no easy answers and I won't pretend I have them. I struggle mightily with depression and ideation, especially around the holidays. In fact, if I bottle up and don't share what I'm feeling when I'm struggling, those thoughts and ideations very quickly start turning into plans. And believe me, the bully in my head absolutely loves it when I make plans to end my life. That same bully loves apathy as a gateway to eroding the things that make us feel loved, grateful, connected.
Your mental health is a very serious thing and I won't pretend to be a therapist, just so we're clear. Getting professional help when you are struggling, if you are so inclined, is almost always a good move. That being said, for me personally, getting smaller seems to help when I find myself in the grips of heavy despair. When things start to pile on and I feel out of control and hopeless, it helps me to focus on the small things, to minimize, to control the controllables, to take smaller bites. Once I get my balance a little, I tend to go for a walk to see snippets of natural beauty, to write a poem, make a delicious snack or reach out to a loved one to remember that I am seen, known and loved (hopefully, it reminds them too!).
Maybe it's just that the small things remind us that we can maintain a little hope for the bigger things; that even amidst the chaos there is still goodness and beauty to behold in the world, and that there is more to this mysterious thing called Life than we can possibly imagine.
My solutions might not be your solutions, and I'm not here to demand that you hydrate, exercise and meditate. I don't know what medications you should take, which spiritual doctrine you should follow and I certainly can't pretend to know your trauma. What I do know is, complete detachment and isolation is the path of apathy and that path would surely have a person wired like myself sinking straight to the bottom in no time at all. The bully in my head that tells me I am unloved when the ideations get loud and rough and that's exactly the place where apathy resides and festers. As it grows, it dismisses meaning, frays connections and makes a mockery of suffering. It tells me that my pain and hurt are not only unimportant, but that my attempts to heal from them are futile. And, perhaps even worse, it starts to tell me the same about the pain and hurt of others as well.
Empathy, on the other hand, is powerful. Many have rightfully clocked it as a superpower and I'd be hard pressed to find any disagreement. I believe it's the greatest rebellion against depression and the most magnificent tool in your arsenal against the cruelty of the world. Empathy is born out of the heart's wondrous realization that another person is every bit as real and beloved as you are, and that neither one of you are alone in your darkness. I truly believe that we should consider radical empathy to be the highest mark of emotional intelligence and human evolution.
I've rambled long enough. I can't stop you from not caring, but I do want to remind you of one more thing, no matter how sentimental and goo-prone it might sound. We are all in this together. That's the only way it works. We circle the wagons and take turns protecting each other when it is needed. We widen our hearts and our tables. We hold space far beyond what our comfort zone would like us to impose. We listen to each other and laugh with each other. We stop reflexive naysaying as a defense mechanism. We stop denigrating effort and hope at every turn. We stop stigmatizing those already struggling or reaching for help. We stop responding to every drop of sincerity and authenticity with a cynical retort or an apathetic shrug. We recommit to each other, especially when it gets hard.
Our time here on Earth is never a matter of indifference. Either we enrich the lives of those around us or we impoverish them. We humans are capable of making such a mess, but we are also capable of incredible clarity, compassion, connection and empathy, as long as we are willing to allow it. If we can summon our ability to care and show it, I truly believe the world becomes more beautiful, safer, more endurable and, essentially, a better and healthier place for everyone. The darkness is no place to call home and human beings are not made to shrug at the suffering of one another. We are made to care.
So that's it. We're in this together, fam. I know it isn't easy, but I'm on your team. So let's stop pretending like it's cool to not give a damn about anything or anyone. Let's get back to showing up for each other. Let's ditch apathy and rediscover the reservoir of empathy within. Because staying alive, caring about one another and looking after each other? Well, that's punk as fuck.
