Because it's finite.
Because it's the only way to make the voices truly stop screaming.
Because it's the only solution with no more "what-ifs."
Because these meds that you're required to take to "save your life" have side effects.
Because rehab doesn't always work.
Because the voices, even when they're not screaming, don't ever stop.
Because the pain doesn't stop.
Because it happened when you were young and it will never go away.
Because it didn't happen to YOU.
Because you don't recognize yourself.
Because you tried for so fucking long.
For so many years.
In so many incarnations.
In so many decades.
In so many fake smiles.
In so many jobs.
In so many situations.
In so many bands.
Singing so many songs.
That no one will ever hear.
Because the art is medicine, but only for so long.
Because their love was not enough to fix you.
Because money or approval or fame cannot stop the darkness.
Because the drugs don't work when you aren't sick.
Because the world is just sick in a different way.
Because you don't understand.
Because you don't understand.
Because You DON'T F*cking Understand.
*Wrote this the morning of Anthony Bourdain's suicide*
